I rolled over to turn off the alarm feeling like somebody had hit me in the head with a baseball bat and stuffed my mouth full of cotton. Politics was proving not to be good for my health; two meetings, two hangovers. Then I realized it was Sunday and fumbled for my phone knowing that whoever was calling, it was bad news.
Panic set in. Maybe there has been a death in my family, or the library has burnt to the ground, or someone has found pictures of me having sex in university. Thankfully, I finished school before the dawning of the true age of social media. Under the current conditions of everyone walking the streets, or standing in the corner of a wild party, having the ability in their pockets to broadcast our slips and transgressions to the world, I don’t think I would have made it through my early twenties without a few dodgy digital images. Don’t get me wrong, I love technology because it makes work and social life easier. Self-driving cars, smart thermostats, the internet, and Google are all good. It’s camera phones at wild parties I object to. Certain experiences are better left to our fuzzy memories and should not be posted in HD video.
“Troy.” It was Dale with noticeable excitement in his voice.
“Yes.”
“Heard the news? I was asleep. Do you think I fall asleep with CBC News World on ?”
“You don’t? I thought everyone in this business did…This is something you’re going to want to hear. Holy shit!”
“Holy shit what? Spit it out for Christ’s sake.”
“No. I’m in bed. I’m lying down.”
“Okay. You know Evelyn Forgeron?”
“The transportation minister?”
“Yes, that’s her. Well, apparently, she fled the scene of a minor fender bender.”
“What? Was she drunk?”
“Maybe, but it gets better. Her car was idling in a parking lot when a guy bumps her. The guy gets out of his car to see if anyone is hurt only to witness the vehicle he ran into, Forgeron’s government Camry Hybrid, trying to leave. The guy’s surprised so he runs up to the car and looks in the window. He recognizes her then sees, also in the car, a young guy with his pants around his ankles!”
“What the hell?” Was she banging him?”
“In a Camry? Unlikely. Still, they were getting busy in a public place. Anyway, the dude from the other car had his cell phone in his hand so he gets video of her and her boy toy! The video is all over social media!”
“Holy shit, is right! I just got off the phone with Al. He thinks this tryst in the Toyota will trigger the election.”
“Trigger the election? Really?”
“Yes, Al thinks that the government’s previous shaky reputation for moral values can’t hold the weight of a minister married with two children looking for love in the front seat of her car.”
“Wow!” was all I could muster. Dale sounded like a kid with only one sleep to go before Christmas.
“It looks like the game will start soon bud!”
“Are you kidding? I thought we had until the fall at least… or next spring. Jesus, are you sure? We are not ready…”
“No one is ever ready. That’s part of the fun!”
“Fun? You have got to be kidding me,” I said with dread.
“It gives you less time to have second thoughts. If you think about this long enough, a reasonable guy like you would never decide running for public office it is a good idea. Now, clean yourself up. We have work to do.”
The phone went dead. I dropped on the bed and laid on my back, naked, staring at the ceiling. I was hoping to have more time to prepare. Maybe Dale was right? If I had time to think, I would decide this is a stupid idea. While Nova Scotia and the Conservative Party of Canada were changing, both were unlikely ready to have a gay librarian with a strong libertarian bent elected to public office.
Clinging to what little privacy I had left, I rolled over and tried to go to sleep with no luck. Tolstoy popped in my head to keep me company.
Troy Myers 